You know what scares me sometimes? Living the same week a thousand times and calling it life. Do we get stuck in routines, ruts and go through the motions? Of course we do.. It’s comfortable. It’s safe. It’s boring. It’s not very Jesca.
Do I realize how lucky I am.. 100%… Am I thankful everyday?! You bet. Do I give back every chance I get? Of course. Do I believe what you put out in the universe comes back to you two fold… Sure do. Do I do nice things in hopes to get nice things back? No sir.
So here we are… Tuesday Oct 18th , 2022 at 7:18pm… In a cabin in the woods….This is my home now.
You ever lived in the woods before? Me either… Until now. Let me tell you. As long as I don’t get eaten out here, it’s got to be my favorite thing in the world. So serene… One with nature…Frolicking with the rabbits, Hooting with the owls, Singing oldies to the deer… It’s some modern day Snow White shiz up in here. No Dwarfs, or apples... Just lil ole me, my million thoughts & my 9mm… just in case.
Am I all talk? No… But I am a little skurred sometimes?…Heck yes. Close your eyes & picture this…. Sitting outside, Wine in hand, Mazzy Star playing… Fire burning..Tiki torches torching…. And all of a sudden…Howls. Coy dogs. That seem to be sprinting towards us as I would imagine they do in that one Twilight movie….The howls getting louder and louder by the second….If you don’t think I looked at my mom sitting next to me with big concerned eyeballs…you’re crazy..If you don’t think I ran to the house and left my Mom for the wolves…You are also crazy… (sorry mom) With only my fire poking stick to protect me at that time…. I was out of there.
Sometimes I have visitors… But being alone is a thing lately. It’s different. But it’s ok. You learn to focus on yourself. You make random soups out of leftover things in your fridge … You sing loud for all to hear (or nobody) ..You actually rarely have dirty laundry..It’s sort of amazing….I’ve been taking private kickboxing lessons, meal prepping, working, I push mow my lawn to kill time…oh, & wine.… Is it wonderful to have a wonderful fella to experience life with… Yes…I suppose wonderful things are worth waiting for. But for now.. for some reason I listen to country music … Obviously there is no lack of Sinatra... & I also gangster rap… They call me ‘Lil Bear.
Adulting can be difficult. Making life decisions is hard. But doing something for yourself is ok. Because you know what is harder?? Living the same week a thousand times and calling it life. Sometimes you are just so far in the forest you cant see over the tree tops…but sometimes I don’t want to see over the tree tops… Sometimes It’s nice to just live my best little life in the forest.
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