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blogging 101

If you are reading this for a lesson on should stop now. I don't have the slightest idea. I swear I am so intrigued with it though... But it seems the only bloggers i see on insta with 9898987987 followers are the ones that make their husbands take multiple pictures of them on a sidewalk while boomeranging a purse that costs as much as my mortgage, holding a starbucks and rocking some weird floppy hat that truly even they can't pull off...   I don't want to be that blogger.  But Im pretty sure if i keep blogging about how great my life is...that could get old too.  They say social media is the highlight reel of your life. DUH. Why would anyone post that they are depressed, or miserable. Who wants to see that stuff. Then again the people that air their dirty laundry all over Facebook really are super captivating. It's like, "lets log in and see what on earth is up with Debbie (downer) today" .

They say..."Blog like everyone is reading" ... Are you kidding me. That makes me shy. haha not really. But still !~ I do much better when i feel like I am just writing these for me to read over and over and laugh to myself as I hairflip when i tell a good joke.  Cuz i feel when i am at the point where I start to take myself too seriously or I think I am just sooo cool. Or just so full of myself. Nobody will like me or my blogs.  

I literally just find my life so entertaining. But at the same rate... i am legit easily amused. I laugh at 3 of 5 TV commercials. I mean like I laugh hard. I want to buy everything I see on Shark Tank.  (almost ordered a 50 dollar Daisy cake the other night for absolutely no reason at all)  I want to sell everything because I love the art of the sale & the straight thrill of negotiating. But at the same time I don't like to ask for a deal.  I'm very jumpy... Super Easily frightened. Usually when frightened I will jump backwards, yell loud noises, cry, then either laugh or get really mad and pouty...depending on level of initial fright.  I sing songs loud. I make up my own lyrics instead of looking them up. I find when I'm telling a story it gets louder and louder. Usually someone will look at me and say " Jess, You're really loud" .  I love wine.

You know what my biggest feat is with living with someone that doesn't really drink? Drinking alone and not feeling judged.  On New Years Morning I popped a bottle of Champs.... It was 10:30 am.  I received a dirty look and a

                                                         "What the eff are you doing?! It's morning!"

Umm Mimosas obvi. If you mix it with Orange Juice its legal. duh.  Sometimes at night when I go to pour my second glass of red wine.... I turn the faucet on while pouring to mask the beautiful sound of the magical grape juice flowing into my stemless glass... Nobody has to know about it. One night I didn't have an aerator so i took a straw and blew bubbles in my wine. I have no idea if that works. Its like blowing on your food. Might be a mental thing.  Hiding my second glass of wine sometimes makes me feel like a real rebel!!...or loser...Im not sure yet.  I don't even have a drinking problem! But it's like when you are the only one doing something... you feel like its bad. It's like when someone is on a diet, and you catch them eating a brownie in the closet.  I feel like that. Because I know that feeling. But Im not even on a wine diet. 

But back to blogging.... Am i going to run out of things to ramble out? Am i suppose to ramble more?  Am i suppose to post pics of my fancy purses and starbucks. Or are you allowed to just do your own random a#$ things and hope somebody bites?! If anyone has advice...I am all ears. 

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